In this Latest News update, I report that I’ve picked up a local lady with a ready-made family; I find myself living in New Zealand and I’m buried in the middle of kitting out a housetruck ready for some fun and games in 2017. Just the usual bunch of insanity from
Samoa [oops!, now it is] New Zealand.
It’s been a while since I’ve chatted about personal things here, so let’s even that score here!
A READY-MADE FAMILY
For the last couple of years I have been actively seeking a wife. Debbie left Samoa several years ago on a one-way ticket and when the two years were up (New Zealand has a two year live-apart criteria for divorce) we divorced. I guess the courts consider that two years living in separate countries means that the marriage isn’t really of much value! I concur actually for I consider man and wife should be pretty much together! Living in separate countries sux!
After getting the run-around from a couple of dozen of the local lassies I’d pretty much given up hope of finding a Samoan who didn’t just want my money, or to get out of the country. Veve rolled on up and slipped a ring on my finger. Good on her, I say, if that’s what she wanted.
Harry (10) Ben (7) and Tulily (3) all came with the package, so we had quite a happy family there for a while. Harry has learned the fire-knife dancing thing and speaks quite good English. Ben is Mr Machete and will chop, hit, smash or bash anything and everything in his way. He just started to launch into using English words when I left and Lily is the boss, and spoiled rotten too. Big brothers have to run when she calls . . . or else! Veve, well she’s mostly a quiet, happy Samoan girl who is lucky to have hooked a nice Palagi guy . . . so I say!
Enter Samoa Immigration though and I got booted out of the country. Overstaying if you really want to know. One of my friends here in New Zealand laughed his head off when he heard the story – “YOu got banned for overstaying? Hell how many Samoan’s overstay in New Zealand AND ALL THE TIME?” He was incredulous!
There’s a long story behind it all of course but the bottom line is that I’m not welcome in Samoa any more – this Palagi is banned now. Whatever!
I feel for Veve and the kids. It’s a pretty inhumane thing to do, ripping a newly married family apart like they have but as I’ve blogged about many times, Samoans don’t like foreigners on their patch and certainly not ones that squeal like I do! So, too bad Palagi . . . on yer bike! It’s also kinda cute because I’ve got nothing from them to explain and therefore no right to appeal and no way to know anything up there of what’s happening. A total loss – everything. Just bugger off Palagi and don’t come back! I left with a knapsack with enough clothes for 5 days and my notebook computer. Cute eh? Lucky I live pretty simply.
There’s two sides to every story, and there’s a truckload of blogging that can come out about this in due course but I’m not complaining one bit. If you can’t do the time, you shouldn’t do the crime. I’ll do my time!
ON WHEELS – ROLL ON 2017
Fortunately I am a survivor and have learned to make lemonade when life dishes you up lemons one after the other . . . The current plans are that I’ll being Veve and the kids down to New Zealand soon and they can enjoy life in a different country and culture, just like I have for the last seven years. Yes, it is almost seven years to the day when I first experienced the Samoan ways – October 2009, just a week or so after the 29 September Tsunami!
I’m currently kitting out a housetruck that SWAP picked up from Greymouth a couple of weeks ago. It’s becoming a housetruck, converted from a horsetruck, I’ll be tidying it up and the theory is that it should eventually be able to carry and accommodate eight people, enough for mum, dad, the kids and some! We’ve got a few nice ideas planned reactivating some of the ideas we had back in 2011, but that will all come later.
It’s quite a change from the back-blocks of rural Samoa but getting thrown out of the country was always something on the cards, certainly from early 2015 when I started taking on the Prime Minister. Unbeknownst to all but my closest confidants, in Q1, 2015 I wrote a book called “Corruption in Samoa” and slipped a copy of it to the PM for his comments. His words, “If you publish this piece of bullshit you’ll be facing court action!” and “You’ve got a lot to learn about Samoa!” caused me to respond in kind along the lines that, “A Prime Minister shouldn’t speak to guests in their country like that” and “You’ve got a lot to learn about me, Mr Prime Minister!”
In fact he wrote “bull [dot dot dot dot] ” not “bullsh*t” or “bullshit” but we know what he meant! There was some pretty anemic stuff in there actually – all that he could handle in a day’s work except for one subject that got him really wound up – one of his personal indiscretions that the whole of Samoa knows about but never talks about because they’re all too scared of him and his capacity for retribution.
The Prime Minister of Samoa, Tuila’epa himself knew all about my banning from Samoa, as he is the Minister of Immigration. Funny that eh? My very strong belief is that Tui, as he asked me to call him actually gave the order, as the others all wanted to and tried to help. I think this banning thing is strategic insanity but hey, he has yet to learn the basics of strategy as taught by Don Corleone in the Godfather II – keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Now that I’m quite distant from the cess-pit of corruption that he presides over, I’m a lot more free to speak it like it is.
I have court cases all over the show in Samoa at the moment. Methinks it will be fun trying to do them all remote but them’s the breaks eh?
Next year, 2017 looks like it will be as interesting in New Zealand as Samoa was every year I was there!
Thanks for swinging by . . . now you know!