More Hating on Samoa

Pot of taro & coconut cream. A Samoan specialty [falifu taro]

Samoan culture (locally called Fa’a Samoa) has a lot to answer for. Following on from a previous post where I analysed a heart-felt plea from someone hurting as a result of Samoan ‘idiosyncrasies’ I post a comment here in which the writer, a Samoan shares with us his ‘attitude’ towards his family. Prepare for a huge dose of pain. As usual I give my commentary and advice. It’s an important subject for those struggling with fa’a Samoa, particularly those hurt from being raised under it.

The Context

I spent seven years of my life in Samoa. I went there on a holiday with my daughter, arrived just following the Tsunami in 2009, and to cut a long story short, got zapped from Above and stayed until the Prime Minister did the honours and determined that he’d put everybody out of their misery by booting me out! Doing this, he thought he’d save Samoans from getting talked about, shamed and challenged by a [literally] God-fearing man but he actually saved me from years of use and abuse by the Samoan rich, poor and all in-between.

Sure there were some great times, but it was the book Corruption in Samoa that named the PM’s mistress that scared him most . . . nek minit . . . I’m a prohibited immigrant. Sh*t happens, as they say.

My recent post from someone suicidal over their difficult lot in Samoa has brought this communication forward – a Samoan/Niuean who has been brought up under an abusive parenting style, unfortunately something common to many Samoans both on-island and ex-pats offshore.

It’s a sobering commentary on the ills that Samoan culture foists upon their young.

The Letter

Agree with this post and im 3/4 samoan. 1/4 Niuean.

Ive never been so fucked off by the term fa’a Samoa because in Samoa you cant also talk back to your elders even if they abuse you or use this as an excuse to smack you for no reason. Then by definition that is Fa’a Samoa. Which is also another form of police brutality.

Got dissowned from my own parents because apparently i had enough of the abuse i had at home so I talked back with hate, within good reason. Amd o [And I] was a child who grew up holding my tongue and respecting them no matter what. But times have changed and I am Woke [have awoken from the Samoan fa’a Samoa] dogma.

Problem with some Samoans is that they are still live in outdated idealogies and have the mindset similar to sheep.

Who ever started this dogshit state of mind in the first place would be where the problem lies.

Received as a Comment post


This man is 3/4 Samoan, raised in a Samoan family under strong influence of fa’a Samoa – the Samoan way.

The beefs he has is with his upbringing are:

  1. Abuse/Violence
  2. Sheeple mentality / blind obedience

He is passionate (his ‘attitude’ speaks loudly here) and obviously cares (people who don’t care don’t speak up like he did to his parents and does here).


Which ever way you look at it, the Samoan culture is more violent than that of the West. The Samoan people are physical, direct and (from a Palagi perspective) quite simple. In the street, if a Samoan doesn’t like you, they’ll flatten your nose a lot quicker than many other cultures. On the rugby field they excel in the physical, not so much the strategic.

In conflict situations we (Palagi) tend to call in the cops, or think things through using intellect. Cross-cultural challenges abound as a result. Basically, to put it crudely, in cross-cultural conflict the Palagi has to toughen-up when dealing with fa’a Samoa and the Samoans need to lighten-up when dealing with Palagi.

Likewise with child-raising, we tend to use words and logic to gain compliance. Samoans tend more to thump (or beat) their kids into submission. A clip around the ears, or a decent hiding is socially acceptable to most Samoans, especially on-island.

This man here, has an attitude – a real attitude. I can understand that. He’s got a brain and uses it. He’s backed himself and paid a huge price for standing up to injustice from his parents as he sees it. If asked to bet on it, I’d put money on it that he’s dead right about the way he’s been treated unfairly by his parents. If he can get through this period of pain and grow and mature, he’ll be a strong man in the future. Pretty much nobody who amounts to anything in the social change movements of any generation didn’t have painful experiences to drive them to affect social change.

When (hopefully) this man pushes through and (hopefully) he lets God deal with his pain, he’ll be a leader in his community. Let there be many more like him in Samoa!

Thanks for reading and thanks for this writer’s willingness to share.


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